dianec42

This started out with a complaint, as so many of my musings do. Two complaints, really, that just happened to collide in interesting ways.

I am fat. I am in the process of getting less fat, but have been stuck at a certain point for three or four months now. Tonight it occurred to me, and hit home for the first time for no good reason, the obvious fact that I didn't get this way overnight, so it's no good expecting it to all get better overnight either.

Then I thought about work sucking, as you do when you're in the office at 10 PM on a Friday. And it dawned on me that work didn't get this bad overnight either; that my life didn't get this weird overnight; and that, in fact, I'm blessed with a hard deadline: by the end of Monday, the game will be in whatever shape it's in, it will be in pre-submission, and so in less than 72 hours this particular hell will be over.

I think the key cause of my suffering is that I pay attention very selectively. I don't see the bad stuff coming because I'm so good at denying it. Then when things suck, I want them fixed right away.

I am in the middle of my life. It's not even half over. When I think of the 38, nearly 39, years I've been on this earth, a couple of days of hard work and frustration pales to insignificance. (And when I think about the kind of day Rick James just had, I am suddenly quite happy to be in these circumstances, alive and still fighting.)

I am bummed there's no "current mood" icon for Serene. And now, I am going home to get some well-earned sleep. I hope these thoughts still make sense to me in the morning. Good night, everyone!